On this episode, Chuck Gaidica was joined by Medical Director of Behavioral Health for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, Dr. Kristyn Gregory. Together, they discussed how taking adult timeouts can be beneficial to our wellbeing.
What are adult timeouts?
When you hear the phrase “adult timeouts,” you may draw a parallel to how timeouts are used to discipline children. This isn’t what an adult timeout is – it’s simply taking time away from a triggering situation or a stressful task for a break and breathing space.
So much of our time is taken up by taking care of others and obligations. The busyness of life often gets in the way of hitting the “pause button” for 10 to 15 minutes.
How do timeouts help with energy and mood?
Taking time to calm yourself can make a big difference on how stressful work, tasks, chores or conversations are for you. Reducing inputs and stimulation for a few moments can help calm down, deescalate stress and regulate your emotions.
“The saying, ‘time heals all? ’It's true,” Dr. Gregory said. “So, it just involves making that conscious choice to put your attention on something else besides whatever might be provoking you and for a few minutes to do something completely unrelated.”
What to do during a timeout
The first step is to physically remove yourself from noise, bustle and other triggers. “Too much noise, that can really confuse things in our mind, and it can increase your anxiety if you have too many things going on at once,” Dr. Gregory explained. “So, getting away from that noise, it can be a really good way to stop that overwhelming feeling.”
You can use this time to practice self-soothing and calming exercises. One good exercise is “noticing your five senses and naming something you see, hear, taste, smell, feel,” Dr. Gregory said. “You could take a short walk, get in nature, just to notice the things around you.” Focus on easy mindfulness practices like these first before more focused calming practices like meditation. “Meditation can be hard. You have to practice it, so it's not something that you should feel bad about if you can't just jump right into, especially if you're trying to jump right into it when you're anxious,” Dr. Gregory said. “Because it's difficult even when you're calm, if you don't have enough practice.”
It’s important to tell family members or coworkers that you are taking a timeout. “I think you have to communicate what you're doing well too, as well, basically, because otherwise, people might just think that you're walking away from the situation,” Dr. Gregory explained.
How to implement timeouts into your life
A big obstacle to taking timeouts is the assumption that it is selfish. “I think that we really need to get away from the idea that taking time for yourself is a selfish thing, because it's not,” Dr. Gregory said. “It helps you function better. So, if you're functioning better, you're a better parent, you're a better employee, pretty much everything in your life can be positively affected by that.”
Don’t wait until a crisis or everything feels like it’s falling down around you. Schedule timeouts ahead of time if you are expecting a stressful day. Plan to incorporate timeouts daily or multiple times a day if you can.
Try to give yourself 15-20 minutes of buffer at the beginning or end of the day to decompress and calm down. Use this time to do something you enjoy and turn your phone on do not disturb. Focus on things you are grateful for, even small things like the weather or an upcoming visit with a friend. Make it a point to schedule time for yourself.
Michigan Podcast is brought to you by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan.
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